The Super Real and Not Too Super Freaky Real Story Behind Elon Musk and Everything in The Universe (Which Includes You) — My dad called me over to the table when I was 13. My new girlfriends had just left the house. I cycled through a lot of girlfriends from around 1st grade to… ok hasn’t ever stopped, but, I make new friends easily. Why? Because of how my father programmed me…

I Have Always Been Valier Plame

The 5th Day of My Awakening Has Been the Best of My Life Thanks to You! I have been studying Twitter since long before Elon copied my homework. I know technology. I know innovation. I know the next big thing. …

How I Went From Unemployed With Thoughts of Suicide To Kanye West’s Campaign Manager — He told me, “Your resume is shit.” I was asleep. I was unemployed. I was dead. At least in my head. There was nowhere to turn. Ah, “So this is when people off themselves,” I thought. I was crying unconsolably. Or so I thought. Chris Martin entered the room. And…

Notes. More specifically, writing. Even more precisely, writing without worry. Writing without worry changed my life. Like physical health, mental health is not something you pay much attention to when you’re young or when life seems to be going well. After you experience the mental equivalent of two broken femurs…

I Did a Pyramid Scheme, T’was the Shame of My Life, ’Til it wasn’t. — I fear you read my words atop a giant pyramid. Like the Earth itself (are you really so sure it’s flat?) the edges of this pyramid are too distant to comprehend. Yet here were are together. I have been told I need to “recruit” more readers before I can get…

Brought to you by Big Brother Boomer Consulting, LLC — Children are the best. You can tell them whatever you want. And they’ll believe it. Literally anything. Raise them deep enough in the country, and you can tell them the bunnies are their brothers, and they will actually believe you. Since you have no TV and no neighbors, you can…

You, dear person who brought me into this existence before yourself departing, you will have a hard time hearing this, but, you are a system, a wonderful, beautiful, natural, perfect in every way, system. You have always thought of yourself as a single entity, as an individual. But you, beloved…

That You Don’t Want to Ever Get Off —